Two Items of Business

In the last few weeks I have been reminded of two things. I cannot do anything about these items, but I would like to go on record as being against them.

1. Adding "ette" to a high school mascot so that it applies to the drill team. While attending my little brother's football games in 2006 and 2007, I often saw girls strutting around wearing jackets with the word "Cavette" on the back. Shouldn't it be Cavewomen? If anything. My reaction to that was disproportionate to how it affected my life, which is not at all. I couldn't concentrate on anything else until I had finished composing the letter to my congressman in my head. (Who would I even complain to? This is why it occupied my mind so completely.) Today I saw a bumper sticker that said, "Proud parent of a Pionette." WHAT IS THAT? It's not a female pioneer, I know that much.

2. Post scripts on movies about fictional characters. When I see a movie based on a real situation, it's kind of nice to read the little paragraph before the closing credits and find out what happened to the people. When it's the worst movie ever made (The Wedding Date), there is no need to put a paragraph of words on the screen to explain anything except maybe time travel so I can get those two hours back. Last week I watched Unbreakable on TV and that movie did the same thing. "Bruce Willis called the police and they came and arrested Samuel L. Jackson." Um, no duh. Give me a little credit. I can tell that Debra Messing is going to marry Dermot Mulroney even though he doesn't have a personality and he was a male prostitute two days ago - no need to spell it out. And of course Bruce Willis is going to call the police. Furthermore, these aren't real people and you haven't done your job as a screenwriter if you have to put part of the script up at the end of the movie.

Finally I have a forum for my items of business that never get addressed in any of the meetings I attend. That's what blogs are for, right?